Snow tubing

This has got to be one of if not THE funniest thing I ever witnessed in real life.

When the kids were small I would take them snow tubing. One fine snowy winter day we went tubing with a whole group of other families. We didn’t go to our normal spot, Sweatt Hill, which is behind the elementary school in the center of town. Oh no, that hill it too big, too steep, too dangerous. Too many "big" kids went there. (aka the dreaded High School kids)  No, we had to go into Rhode Island to the “Private” elementary school. This hill is much softer, much kinder, much gentler. My kids didn't want to go there because, that hill is for “little” kids. But they relented because, everyone else was going.

We get to the hill at the school in Rhode Island and there were already about 30 kids there. This hill isn’t very steep, and it doesn’t have any “jumps”. But it’s long, has a large run off area at the bottom and is about as wide as it is long. It has plenty of room for everybody. So the kids start tubing. Everyone is having a good time. Even the parents make a couple of runs.

I’m standing at the top of the hill with the other parents drinking coffee and trying to stay warm. (Irish coffee, I said we were having good time :-)) I look down the hill and see some guy in a snow mobile suit walking up the hill. I notice him because he’s walking up backwards. I think he was chastising a group of kids that had just flown by him. I then look over at our kids and see that my daughter, Cait the Great, is getting ready to launch herself down the hill. Actually, the boys were getting ready to launch her. After all, she was just sitting on her tube and the boys were running like hell pushing her towards the edge. I yelled at her to watch out for the guy in the snow mobile suit. Too late, she’s off and sliding.

I’m standing at the top of the hill with two other parents, all three of us are yelling at Cait to try to turn. But she can’t hear us. And she doesn’t try to alter her trajectory. She’s just in a tucked position, holding onto the handles for dear life blasting down the hill at a 100 miles an hour.  And Snow mobile man doesn’t see her coming because he’s walking backwards up the hill.

She took him out in one clean swipe . She hit him behind the knees and sent him flying into the air. It was beautiful to see. It couldn’t have been a better take down had they spent two weeks choreographing it. If this were the X Games I guess you’d have to say the trick he was trying to pull off was a 720. You do know what a 720 is, right? A 720 is when a skater/boarder jumps in the air and does two complete spins before landing back on his/her feet, usually to the ew’s, ah’s and applauds of the crowd. Snow mobile man only managed a 450. He managed one and a quarter revolutions before slamming head and shoulders into the hillside. He got a few oooooohhhhhhh’s, some OOOOOwwwwwwww’s and a couple of “now that’s just GOT to hurt” from the crowd. Nobody clapped.You should have seen him scrambling and rolling in the snow trying to get back to his feet.  A drunken turtle could have rolled over more gracefully. When he did manage to get back up, he was staggering.  This guy was rocked.  He didn't know if it was 8:30 or Tuesday. And what about Cait? She kept going. It barely slowed her down. She maintained her tuck and slid to the bottom of the hill. She didn’t even turn her head. I bet she kept her eyes open too. See denied it, but I think she was aiming for him.

Now I’m at the top of the hill in tears. I can barely breathe. The other two parents are dying as well. When this guy gets up, he’s covered in snow and he’s pissed. He’s grabbing all the kids coming up the hill. He wants to know who took him down. The kids don’t know. They weren’t watching they were sliding. What about Cait? She moves kind of slow. She was still at the bottom of the hill getting ready for her ascent back to the top when the interrogations started. And besides, she is a girl. She’s not even a suspect. This guy is yelling at all the boys. When she came up the hill, he didn’t even speak to her.

So snow mobile man hobbled to the top of the hill. Oh that’s right, he’s limping and holding his head. He gathers up his kids and leaves. I can’t even look at him. Every time I do I burst out laughing. I had to hide behind the other parents so he wouldn’t see me. What was Cait’s only comment? Her only comment was “Well, he shouldn’t have been standing there then”