The WBFL

Alrightythen, let me say this about that. I’ve fielded a ton of questions on the WBFL this year. You know stuff like, what is it, what does it stand for, what it is all about, can anyone be a member? Stuff like that. I suppose the most frequent and important questions are: what the hell, and WHY? People were beginning to think we were some kind of secret society or something bent on taking over the world through domination and manipulation of the world’s legal, political and financial systems. Well that’s kinda true. I would like to be the Omnipotent Emperor of the Universe, Lord and Protector of all that Walks, Crawls, Swims or Flies. But the wife won’t let me. And the only thing secret about this group is, well, really the only secret is, what the heck is up with Excalibur? Anyway, I thought I’d take a few minutes and explain the WBFL and what has become known as the Great WBFL OPEN GOLF Championships.

The WBFL is a loose collection of guys mostly, that started life playing online, first person, shoot-em up video games. Mind you, it was not ALL guys, but it was mostly guys. The most frequent game(s) played was the Call of Duty series. All of this ball breaking, name calling, insulting banter you sometimes see going back and forth on Facebook started there. Now, when you play these games, groups of guys band together and form “Clans”. They give themselves really cool names like “Allied Government” or “The Sons of Death” and they put their clan name in front of the gamer tag so that people would know who they are and where they are from. And most clans would maintain ranks, just like the military. So I would be {AG}Slowjoe(PVT). Yeah baby, I’d have my clan, my name and my rank, in that order. I would be official, I would represent when I was out in the virtual world, fighting in a virtual war, virtually wiping out the virtual enemy, protecting the virtual world from a virtual invasion. I was a virtual stone cold killer. OK so maybe I was more of a luke warm target. Anyway, if you heard any of the banter at the golf outing or read any of the comments on FB you may realize that this group of guys really isn’t into all that military style structure. Hey, it’s a game for crimminay sake. Lighten up Francis. What’s with all this “Follow Orders” crapola. Needless to say, a bunch of us (actually, mostly Swede) were either kicked out of or straight up just left a couple of these clans.

Now, you need to realize that the majority of the guys that make up the WBFL are real life friends. Alright, maybe not FRIENDS as normal people would think of it. We either worked together, or grew up together or were related. We weren’t necessarily just a bunch of people spread around the world who didn’t really know each other. So when we got kicked out of every decent clan in the virtual world we loosely made up our own. It’s Leo’s fault really. Leo branded us the WBFL for no reason other than he liked the look of it. I used to run around with just random clan tags on. I’d just make up letters and stick them in from of my name. (OGR was my favorite, outside of the WBFL of course). We had no home but we had tags. We were COD nomads so to speak, traveling around the cyber world looking for trouble with no place to call our own.

People ask all the time what WBFL stands for. We stand for Truth Justice and the Virtual WAY!!! Nahhhhh, that’s not it. The WBFL has many meaning. Some of which I will list here. Others hopefully will not be added in the comments at the end of this story by some wise ass named Excalibur or Swede. (Was that hint subtle enough?) The name that was officially listed in the Forums is/was We Be Finishing Last. Kind of ambiguous don’t you think? It could mean that we suck, and lose a lot. Or it could be a last man standing kind of comment meaning we win a lot. Kinda adds a mysterious aura to the group don’t you think? People don’t know what to expect. Other names that have been used include:

We Be Fat and Lazy

Wide Bodies for Life

We Be Friends for Life

Won’t Be For long

Whiney Bunch of Freak’n Losers

You get the point. It’s just four letters that COULD mean something, but really don’t (Gentlemen, PLEASE do not add any of the non-G rated combinations to the comments.)

Soooo, after running around as a loose faction of homeless guys, Leo decided to start an official Clan. He went to ClanServers.com, rented some space and put up a server. The rest as they say, is virtual history. We now had a home. We could wage WAR!!! Leo put up a game server, he developed forums so we could talk to other clans to set up virtual battles and he put up a Ventrillo server so we could talk to each other while playing in the game. I learned a couple of things on Ventrillo. Not the least of which was, I was/am probably the oldest guy in Cyberspace playing these games. Holy crap. Our group of guys was just that, guys. There were some guys in their 20’s a bunch on their 30’s a couple of 40 somethings and me. The first day I dropped the headphones on to talk to folks on Ventrillo, I just couldn’t believe it. I lasted about 10 minutes then had to get off. I couldn’t BELIEVE all the high pitched squeaky voices. I found out that some of the guys I was playing the game with, like Dr Death and the Noob Killer were kids. When I say kids, I mean KIDS. You know, 14, 15 years old. That was the first day I felt old, really old. I’m running around cyber space with the little kiddies playing a kiddy games YIKES. Of course, this is also the genesis of the Old Guys Rule taunt. So anyway, the bulk of the WBFL played only on the WBFL server. We could be virtually guaranteed we would be playing with adults. I mean its one thing to spend an evening playing an online game with a peer. You know a deep voiced man with a job, a mortgage and a couple of kids. It’s quite another to have you butt handed to you all night and then hear a squeaky voice say “Sorry, I gotta go. Mom says it’s time for bed.”

Anyway, periodically we’d be playing this game and it would start to get a little boring. Someone would say “Hey, let’s play some poker?” 45 minutes later there’d be a group of us playing cards at someone’s house. Sometimes it would be “Hey, let’s go golfing.” This is how the WBFL Golf and Demolition Derby started. The first yea r it was just a a bunch of us getting together to do something other than COD. One day we ended up having two (2) foursomes. Somebody made a crack about it being a tournament. The next year it was “hey, we should ALL try to go out together and have a real tournament with awards.” It has just blossomed from there.

And speaking of the golf outing. I had a couple of people ask me about the crazy names everyone had. HELLLLLL-ooooooooo, it’s your gamer tag. If you didn’t have one, I gave one to you. So what do they mean, well let me explain the names to you.

Slowjoe – This would be me. If you ever see me rushing or running, it’s because I’m on fire or you are dreaming. I don’t rush. I’d rather walk and be an hour early than run to try to be on time.

SteamroledU – Dan Kelly. He was pretty good at the game. He just steam rolled everyone. And he taunted the heck out of you when he did it.

Please permit me a story. (My blog, you’re getting it whether you want it or not)

We had this ladder match to see who the best player in the WBFL was. It was a double elimination kind of thing. Last man standing was the best. I made it through the early rounds and I’m in the semi finals. I got matched up with Steam. The game we were playing was a first to 10 thing. You had to win twice. So we play the first round and Dan wins 10-9. I’m all excited. I took Dan deep (usually he’d beat me 10-0) Now we are switching sides and I’m better with the side I’m getting. Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy, I’m doing good. So while the game was loading I went running into the other room to get a drink. When I did, I passed Dan. I looked at him and stopped dead in my tracks. There he was sitting at the other computer. He was playing World of Warcraft. He had AIM up and was IMing a couple of friends. His head phones were on crooked. In one ear he was listening to Music, in the other the game. All the while he’s talking to somebody else on Ventrillo. I’m like “What are you doing, we’re in a match?” He said “Yeah I know, I’m playing.” I’m like “With all that other stuff going on?” He said “Yeah, I’m listening to the game. I wait for you to plant the bomb, then I toggle over to COD, kill you and defuse the bomb.” I’m like “How the hell can you do that?” He’s says “Well I don’t do it every time, if I’m in the middle of something on WoW, I just let you win.” “I said “YOU LET ME WIN!!!!” He goes, “Yeah, you do the same thing every time, so I know I’m going to win. If I’m in the middle of something in WoW, I just finish it.”

My head almost exploded. I’m using every ounce of energy and concentration I have. I’m so wrapped up in the game my hands are shaking and my heart is racing. Dan’s over there playing WoW, listening to music and talking to his friends.

See, that’s one of the reasons I don’t like playing with the kiddies

Peckerwood (LeoGetz) - Leo Maguire. For the longest time Leo was LeoGetz. We played golf this past spring in South Carolina with an officer from the Sheriff’s Department. This guy kept calling him Peckerwood. I don’t know what a Peckerwood is, but it was making me nervous in a Deliverance kind of way.

Peruse this and see if you don't agree.

http://oldiesman999test.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-to-become-peckerwood-without-really.html
Grape Ape (Wizard) - John Lyons. John came into the clan as the Wizard because he thought he was good (a wizard) with a sniper rifle. The story of why he’s the grape ape is already listed on the blog. You should go read it.

http://oldiesman999.blogspot.com/2010/07/grape-ape.html

Deadeye – Dave Snyder. I’m told he has an issue with one of his eyes.

Excalibur – Cory Snyder. I never got Excalibur. We play shoot-em up games. What’s up with a sword? Maybe that’s why he loses all the time

Here's a little vingette about Ex.

http://oldiesman999test.blogspot.com/2011/08/excalibur-drools.html

Angryswede - Mark Lord. He’s Angry and he’s a Swede

It galls me to add this snippet about my friend Swede.  But you know what I always say, screw Swede.

http://oldiesman999test.blogspot.com/2011/08/swede.html

Reverend – Martin Kelly. He made himself a minister just because someone told him he couldn’t do it. Think about it, the only reason he’s a minister is to prove a point and someone else wrong. Of course, he’s an online minister, I’m not sure it would hold up in a court of law. I wouldn’t want to be married by him. Wait a minute, can you say Loop Hole?

Big Red – Ryan Kelly. Ryan is 6’ 4” with red hair and a red beard. Big red, get it?

Yesdear – Bill Daigle. He always says Yes. He always just does what he wants. The two don’t necessarily line up. It’s beautiful really

Doubledip – Kevin Daigle. He took home two awards at last year’s golf event.

Papa – Brian Daigle. He’s the father of a brand new baby boy. Colin was 11 days old when Brian played with us.

Carpentar – Duane Fafard. Duane paid for some home repairs that he didn’t get.

Shortfuse – Sean Daley. This should be self explanatory

Rizzo – Dave Reid. I have no Idea why they call him Rizzo. Funny story though. When I was coming up with the names, I thought I’d tag him with Ratso. People looked at me like I was nuts. No one got the reference. Then I took a poll. Everyone over 50 knew immediately what it meant, no one under 50 had a clue. I then asked “Did anyone SEE Midnight Cowboy?” They looked at me like I had two heads. WOW, so this is what it feels like to be old. Ipso facto, Dave kept Rizzo. The jokes aren’t funny if NO ONE gets them.

Hitman – Jay Harts. It’s a play on Hitman Hart, of WWF fame. (It was the WWF when the Hitman was there) He had another name that I wouldn’t use. You may have seen it. I thought it kind of mean so I switched it. Sorry Jay, but it’s a family show.

Alice – Alex Cutrone. This is another one I already posted. Alice is as Alex does. You should read this one too.

http://oldiesman999.blogspot.com/2010/02/alice-is-as-alex-does.html

Mulligens - Pete Edmunds . Pete’s got a Tattoo on his arm that says “Mullens” When Pete signed up to play this year he was concerned because he hadn’t played in 12 years. Mullens, 12 Years, WBFL, IPSO FACTO, MULLIGENS.

Bone Crusher - Jay Hyland.  Jay is a giant among mere mortal men. One day he was doing what giants do and demonstrating great feats of strength. Basically, he was moving an office credenza, by himself. I’ll skip to the end. Jay dropped the thing and it landed on his toe. Basically, he crushed the middle phalanges of his big toe. (I had to look that up) He crushed the thing good. He turned one big toe bone into 100 little big toe bone pieces.

Baby Bing (Bada Bing) – Greg Garafolo. Yeah this is the guy that is the force befind most of the rules we have. Rules like, you can’t take a mulligen on the green. Greg’s real tag was Bada Bing. Somebody (Excalibutt) was taunting him one night making Baby Huey references. IPSO FACTO BABY BING

Deputy Dangle – Pete Lavallee. Pete came to us with his tag. I didn’t ask him how he got it. I was afraid of how he might answer.

Anyway, those are the tags and how everyone got them. There are more people who are/have been in the WBFL. People like Firestorm, Fish, I_Eat_Babies and Jaybird. Too many to list.

So for those that have now played with us, for the rest of your life, you will be {WBFL}(your tag here). So it’s {WBFL}Yesdear, or {WBFL}Shortfuse etc. Wear you tags proudly and know no good comes from it. Once you are a member of the WBFL, there’s no going back. It’s like learning to fall off a bike.